This has been a very interesting “offseason” for me regarding Little League baseball. It is my family’s first offseason in which our son, Luke, is already active in McIntire Little League’s Majors division. It also happens to be the first offseason where I am a Manager in our league’s most “serious” division. Prior to the “Majors”, kids in our league play in one of several Minors divisions, levels at which kids play 1 game/week and practice 1 time/week. But the Majors is totally different. In season, kids practice 2-3 times/week and play 2 games. There are baseball workouts and clinics going on year round. The game gets bigger, faster and more expensive. Good 9-year olds are facing very mature 12-year olds. The games even begins to resemble the nostalgic game that many of us played in our youth. (Minors games are very different…few of us remember walking 4 batters/inning, or never seeing a ball legitimately hit out of the infield).
My observation is that parents become very involved at the Majors level as well. Many of us coached in the Minors. Some umpired. Some ran the scoreboard. So, at one level, we were very involved…physically involved that is. Almost all of us took our kids to practice and “stuck around” for the hour b/c, after all, it was only an hour. But once you get to the Majors, the more advanced game weeds out some parents as coaches and the 2 hour practices give many parents a valid opportunity to drop off their kid and go run errands. “Involvement”, however, has taken on an entirely new definition. Now, we are emotionally involved.
I guess I witnessed this new level of emotional involvement last Spring, but when you are one of the dads who is always on the field, you are insulated, to a point, from all the emotions that swirl around you. During this offseason, however, the games and practices are NOT there to distract me and the drumbeat of emotionally charged parents has my ears ringing constantly. We’re worried about whether our kids are developing as ballplayers under the managers the league has assigned to our teams. We’re worried whether our kids were treated fairly in the selection of our summer All Star teams. We’re worried about whether our kids will move into the more central roles of Pitcher, Catcher or Short Stop versus getting “stuck” in some corner outfield position that our camera lens hardly reaches.
In 2009, Luke has moved into the “Majors” of each sport that he plays. In football, he went from Flag to Tackle. In basketball, he’s gone from YMCA’s recreational league to a citywide developmental league. In both cases, we’ve gone from “1 practice/1 game/everything takes 1 hour” world into multiple practices and 1 longer game. Practices are later in the evening. The game is more advanced. For a sport crazed father, we have “arrived”. These games DO resemble what I remember from my own playing days. But, you know what happened in this our “step up” year? My mind, and obviously the minds of my peer parents in these leagues, started to relive our youth. We saw ourselves, even felt ourselves, back on the field. Whatever insecurities we had for ourselves back then we now impose on our children. Whatever entitlements we expected for ourselves, we now expect for our little genetically similar star. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. And upon further reflection this “offseason”, it just isn’t pretty.
So, what is this dad/manager/FORMER athlete doing about it? Well, I find myself looking more for new ideas about building a positive culture on my teams than I do about how I can teach my pitchers to throw offspeed pitches. I find myself reading more articles about how to talk to and relate to my 10-year old than I do about how to speed up his bat. I think more about how to change hearts to be loving, patient and kind than I do about which kids are going to make next year’s All Star teams.
Like every recovering addict, I go into remission occasionally. I found myself emotionally charged after Monday’s basketball practice when Luke finished in the bottom third of every sprint the team ran. He and I discussed this post practice to the point where he was almost in tears. I thought my intentions were good: (1) basketball is team game and your team needs you to give effort (2) if you are practicing lazy, you’ll play lazy, and where is that going to get you in life (3) late in games, the well conditioned athlete, the well conditioned team, normally comes out in top…blah, blah, blah. I’ve since apologized to Luke. While each of my points had some merit, it was certainly the wrong time, the wrong place, and perhaps the wrong messanger to give that speech. I have found myself this week spending even more time than usual trying to figure out what place youth sports should take up in our family’s life. I hope I am back “on the wagon”.
This “offseason”, our Little League has researched and made the decision to begin a relationship with an organization called Positive Coaching Alliance. The purpose of PCA is to partner with youth sports leagues to develop a proper perspective around coaching and parenting in the games that we love. This wasn’t an easy decision for our league. We had looked at and passed on the program a couple of years back. Perhaps some were concerned that the cost of approximately $2500/year cost was too much. Perhaps some were concerned that their old ways of doing things would be challenged, and who wants to have to reinvent the wheel? I think some were concerned that the resounded drumbeat of a new central philosophy would force them to look in the mirror to assess their own philosophies. But, to the credit of our Board, and to the credit of many of may have resisted in the past, this new iniative passed. It may take some time, but I am convinced that this new initiative is going to help us be a better league…a better place to teach our kids the real lessons of youth sports.
I encourage all who read this to give culture some consideration. Give some thought to what your own personal agenda is related to the sports teams on which your kids play. Spend time with your children trying to understand why THEY play the game. Is is because you made them? Is it because their friends play? Is is for the love of the game. My guess is that all the nonsense that keeps us as parents preoccupied hardly even crosses their minds. They play because its what kids do. They like to play games. Remember, one day your kids will be coaching your grandkids, and your kids baggage from 2009 will show up in what they are doing and how they relate to those future 10 year olds. Lets go make 2010 a great year for youth sports in Charlottesville or wherever you may be.




















